January 20, 2020

Quicky it shoots towards us. Strong small lights with an arrow of glowing water following the dark head. The light is playing in the water. With a sound, water is blown out of the surface. An cheecky sound resonates true the steel hull of the boat. Dolphins are playing wih the boat and their swimming, lights up algaes. You see them swimming towards us in a quick movement. At the same time I see a falling star with a green tail in the sky. Amazingly beautiful to see. But so quickly that you always wonder; “Did I really see this?”

Trying to follow the dolphin-rockets I am listening to a podcast about farewell. “My mom asked me what time it was. I answer, four ‘o clock. In about 15 minutes the doctor will come to inject the fluid. At the same time my mom’s face changes. Her eyes are showing a deep sadness and emotion. It is the first time I understand: It is not only me going to miss my mom. But she will loose and miss everything.”…

The presenter tells this story and I am crying together with him. His story makes me realise how lucky I am. Being able to start such an endeavour together with Suus. This trip gives me a course in enjoying small things, the falling star, not even 1 second of light in the sky. A small line. Dolphins that light up the water. But also Suus making breakfast, a cold beer and yes. This passage also new clean underwear ;).

At the same time I feel selfish. For people back home, our trip can sometimes be hard to understand, emotional and scary. I am crying because I am scared losing my family and friends. Just like the presenter lost his mom. But by crossing an ocean, we scare family and friends, Isn’t that selfish? I know what a boring and shitty friend I have been the last 1.5 years, spending all my time with Yndeleau. To prepare her together with Suus to even spent more time away from family and friends. But every single person gave us this opportunity by supporting us. So many people helped us to be able to cross this ocean. With work on the boat, with supporting words or just being themselves. And while I am watching the dolphins I feel immensely grateful. I am gratefull that we are allowed to be a little bit selfish.

Sent from Iridium Mail & Web.


  1. Chris Lee

    Thank you for that. My partner Jenni and I are just about to leave our home port in Australia on an open ended voyage in our boat. I feel that same sense of selfishness but for me it is about my 3 children and 8 grandchildren. They are are struggling to understand why we would leave them, but for us it is about being 60+ and doing something we have both wanted all of our lives while we still have health.
    Thank you for your open honesty, I am really loving your posts.
    The website below is our blog which we started when we left Brisbane to sail the 3,5000 miles home to Albany.
    Fair winds.

  2. Robin Pot

    You will come back so much more experienced in life. More importantly, you’ve found your dream and you’re chasing it. Friends and family will always support that. So don’t worry about any selfishness. It is seen differently from this side. Enjoy the dolphins. Kisses!

  3. Steef Arts

    Very nice written. I always feel humble and overwhelmed when i’m out there. It puts life in perspective.
    Enjoy this life changing experience to the max. Say hi to Suus

  4. Kees Stofbergen

    Once I was halfway Biscay, heading home, new moon, silence, dolphins, stars, nothing to think about. This incredible feeling lasted way too short. Live your life!

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